Mother's Thursday FANTASY...sheer lunacy!

After 17 months at home with her mum, my todder (Amy) has started one day a week at Family Daycare. Finding a daycare spot that's local, available and perfectly suitable is like winning lotto as far as most mothers are concerned. This one came with glowing references and is walking distance from my house - perfect!
So as soon as I could see bub-free Thursdays on my horizon I began to fantastise about my ideal Thursday. It goes something like this:




6am rise for daily morning 'Me-time' Ritual*
10-15 mins yoga, 10-15 mins meditation, 30 min sunrise stroll, followed by a dry body scrub, almond oil naked rub down (self-applied), citrus essential oil shower, finished with cup of jasmine green tea - all before waking the kids.
Relaxing breakfast with kids. Robert makes Lily's school lunch, I pack Amy's daycare bag and off we trot merrily at 8.30am on the dot. Return around 9.15am to start my day...
Work in my office 'till 11.45am then pick up my elderly friend for our weekly luncheon date. (Eat something scrumptions and healthy). Return to my desk by 1.30 for another 4 hours of work before picking up the kids and coming home for an early dinner I've organised the night prior.

March 3 is my third attempt at Fantasy Thursdays. Week one I was flat out sick on the couch. Week two Bob was flat out grumpy with a case of facial shingles. So, here we are week 3 growing ever eager to fulfill my Thursday Fantasy. Here's how it went (my Thursday, March 3 REALITY):

1.30am: Woken at by cockatoo screech of teething toddler who refuses to be consoled in her own cot and insists on lying on the floor (in makeshift bed) slapping mum's face and poking her for over an hour. Give it my absolute best shot to remain cool, calm and collected until - after two hours of wrestling and screaching - I restrain her in a sleeping bag and leave her to screach herself to sleep. I'm on her floor with an earplug in one ear cheering her on, lovingly. (Mothers need medals for nights like this!Or some sort of government funded stress/ sleep debt bonus!!)
We both settle into sleep around 4am for what seems like 5 minutes.
7.30am: Woken by that all-to-familiar cockatoo screach. Desperate for a shower, I hand her over to Bob and Lily. One minute into my shower she's banging on the shower door, balling and calling for muuuuuuuuuuuuum! Shower is short and not so sweet but it'll have to do.
7.45am: Remember we have unexpected houseguests who, without a doubt, lost a couple of hours of sleep last night. Stuff breakfast into kids. Realise we're out of just about everything. Send Bob for a desperate run to the shops. Run to the verandah to add jam to Bob's list. Lean over the railing to get his attention. Already driving out in the car. In desperation, throw 1/2 piece of avocado toast at the car windscreen. Leaves a HUGE smudge but he fails to notice ('till I'm explaining the green smudge when we're back in the car 45 minutes later).
8am: I'm crawling across a landscape of clean, unfolded laundry on my bedroom floor desperatly seeking school socks. Find a second sock and feel momentarily victorious. Hand them to Lily. She informs me they're not matching. My inner dragon wants to scream 'I DONT GIVE A FLYING ....!'. Fortunately my sleep deprived seven second delay has kicked in, so I respond with: 'That's OK darling, just roll them down.'
8.25: Like the Rooster I am (Chinese astrology), I announce our departure in 5 minutes, then realise only two toddler wipes remain. Not even the most resourceful daycare worked could stretch those over an 8 hr day with my daughter's butt! Plan to pick up wipes between drop offs.
8:40am: Say good morning to the emerging houseguests. Load the family into the car. Win the toddler arch back battle squeezing her into the seat. Explain the avocado windscreen smudge. Listen to three people talking at once throughout the trip. Brain begins to melt and all three voices start to merge into one. I answer no questions, just nod. I notice a school boy being tossed into a skip bin by another, with several onlookers, and don't even apply a brake. (7 second delay...)
8.55am: Drop Lil at school gate. So distracted by Bob (and sleepy) I almost run over the lollipop man at the crossing, who (usually) bids me good morning. Wake myself with ice cold car air conditioning.
9am: Drop Bob at the station, pick up some wipes at the supermarket and head to daycare.
9:15am: Arrive at daycare. Amy clutching me like a newborn koala. She eventually relaxes and begind busying herself when I realise her shoes are on the wrong feet (explains the strange walk).
9:30am: Leave daycare swiftly, ignoring cries and wait outside the door to hear hear her settle (only 30 seconds of guilt, thank God).
9:40am: Arrive home to my houseguests. Sit and chat while stuffing my face with my first cup of tea and some breakfast.
10am: Set up houseguests with activities for the day. Put on a load of washing. Look at my list of to-do's...

• Finish business Marketing plan
• Do all 6 loads of washing
• Set up 3-4 work meeting for next week
• Travel 20 mins down the mountain for dental x-ray
• Pick up Jill for lunch
• Organise dinner for houseguests and their visitors

Revise list:

• Forget business Marketing plan...brain asleep
• Wash essentials...clean undies & tomorrow's uniform
• Stay off the phone
• Forget dental x-ray...avoid unneccessary driving (they say driving without sleep is like driving drunk)
• Pick up Jill for lunch
• Pick up sausages, onions and buns for hotdogs (dinner) and suggest guests go OUT to visit after dinner.

11.45am: Head out to pick up Jill for lunch. On the way, fill the car with petrol and myself with 2 Cherry Ripes! Eat one immediately. Spot a truck on the opposite side of the highway, its wheels have come off and are rolling up the road into a service station. A man filling his tank watches nervously. I miss the end but laugh at how fitting the scene is in this somewhat MAD day.
12noon-1.45pm: Lunch with my friend and laugh at the day. Drop her at home and scoff second Cherry Ripe.
2pm: Arrive back home, chat to houseguests briefly and look again at my to-do list.
2.30pm - 4.00pm: I SLEEP a deep, deep sleep and dream a little dream of next week's Thursday ...
4.00pm: Wake, splash water on face. Apply minimal 'healthy look' make-up, drink cup of digestive tea to deal with unhealthy lunch and two Cherry Ripes. Head off to pick up kids...