Springcleaning My LIFE...It's gotta be done cause life's CRAZY busy!

Spring has sprung! And it feels like the year's just flying past. When I look at what lies ahead between me and Christmas, it's overwhelming: loads of client work, school holidays, an at-home wedding to plan and a full-on two year old.
...It's easy to fall into full speed ahead this time of year, but I've decided to Spring Clean my life in order to (try) to avoid complete overload and burnout!!!
So I asked myself:
'What could I give up, let go of, complete, delegate, declutter or do differently that would SIMPLIFY my life and bring me FREEDOM, time, space and PEACE rather than madness?!@#'

I was inspired into action by the fact my neice, who'd I'd asked to help sort my tax receipts, managed to do in under 3 hours would have probably taken my until Christmas.
So here are some of the possibilities I came up with:
- Postpone till 2012 the 12 week online business course I recently signed up with.
- Postpone till 2012 building my new superdooper MumSanctuary website.
- Get my 2010/2011 tax out of the way (with the help of my super efficient neice).
- Get ruthless with tossing out/ giving away the loads of STUFF that's grown in our storage.
- Start grocery shopping online.
- Get ride of all those online subscriptions that I never ever have time to open and read and keep only my favourite 3.
- Limit my Facebooking to once a week.

Doesn't matter where I start, making any of these changes will help make breathing space in my life. The trick, of course, will be resisting the urge to fill up that space with yet MORE STUFF!
Happy spring cleaning.

Lyndal
;0)

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When I am at PEACE...magic happens!

Zen Garden. http://www.blueangelonline.com/

I dropped into a local park today with Amy (18 months) after a quick trip to the supermarket. My mind had been racing all morning. I couldn't stop thinking about all the things I needed to this week and knew I couldn't get started until Amy had her lunchtime sleep.
I was feeling the great pressure of the job hunt and impatient for a result. At the same time, I was trying to figure out how to maintain my daily writing ritual, plus catch up on my taxes, plus plan for the school holidays (fast approaching).
I fell into OVERWELM...then, I remembered, really remembered, the only way to end this peaceless-ness, this restless-ness is to surrender to THIS VERY MOMENT. Here in the park, my only job is to be present with my girl, to have fun with her.
Work and job searching, and tax and tonight’s dinner and school holiday plans...can all WAIT! Once I surrender, really let go and become fully present, magic happens. Children start to chat to me and involved me in their games. I’m like a fun magnet. Amy and I have a wonderful time together. She comes away exhausted from the play. I come away feeling energized and lighter than when I arrived.
Two years ago I attended a retreat for mums up here in the Blue Mountains. One of the discussions was about PEACE and how we LOSE OUR PEACE THROUGH THE PROCESS OF THINKING. It's said the true nature of peace is silence, but I don't that neccessarily means COMPLETE silence. For me, today, in the park, it was just a matter of silencing the chatter of my own mind; the chatter of all that needed to be done, and pay attention ONLY to what was happening right in front of me and around me in that incredible park full of beautiful ,happy children and sunlight and autumn's first leaves.
 
At the mum's retreat, we were asked to write our own poem/ piece of writing titled:  'When I am at peace'. Here's what I wrote then. And I feel the same way now.
 
When I am at peace...all is well in my world. Love surrounds me, all I do, all I experience. I bring peace and love into my heart and home, my conversations, my work, my joyful everyday living.
When I am at peace, I feel like moving, easily, naturally, outdoors, working with my body, filling my mind with positive energy and love and laughter. When I’m at peace I laugh more, dance more with my daughter and move with a grace that flows effortlessly and beautifully along life’s river.
I LOVE PEACE
I AM PEACE,
I CHOOSE PEACE

What happens when YOU are at peace?

You Sexy Mother...a life-changing approach...

Just finished reading You Sexy Mother - a life-changing approach to motherhood by Jodie Hedley-Ward... a self-help title which "...redefines what it means to be a stay-at-home mum today."

Not a huge fan of self-help, particularly for mothers, but forced my way through the first few pages. It was worth the effort. Thought I'd write a brief review. Read it yourself? Let me know what you think...

Like all self-help books, it’s a matter of helping yourself to the bits that suit you and your lifestyle at this point in your motherhood. It’s no one-size-fits-all, but has something for every mother. My advice is to go straight to page 70 and read – several times: ‘We all face our own unique set of challenges, which is why comparing ourselves with others or trying to follow another mother’s blueprint will never work, and it will certainly never make us feel happy.’
This woman’s enthusiasm is incredible; you can feel her jumping off the pages. So, it’s ideal for the mother who’s ready to change gear and shake things up.
Ward has loads of great ideas to try on for size, including getting creative with play spaces in your home, transforming your wardrobe from drab to hip, and creating chill out zones in your home where you can relax throughout the day.
Favourite advice: Assess your energy levels each morning and approach the day accordingly. I love this approach, rather than ‘dragging’ yourself through a day for the sake of crossing items off a long to-do list. Pursue your passions: I think that just like exercise, the stuff you do for yourself gives you energy. It’s when we waste time doing things because we think we should that we feel drained and depleted.
Favourite exercise: ‘Let’s Go Shopping’ where you write yourself a pretend cheque, dress up in your finest and head out with the intention of spending the whole lot on yourself and your home. It might sound a ridiculous time-waster at first, but it’s a great way to shop like a pro, see what looks great on you and – in my case – shrug off the guilt monkey and try on some items with a higher price tag than $30.
Bummed out reading: ‘When you are at your most vulnerable, sleep-deprived and emotional, that is when it is most important to choose your words wisely and remember just how important this relationship is to the stability and happiness of your family.’ – too late for me.
Life Changing? If you're into it, lives up to its promise: “...redefines what it means to be a stay-at-home mum today...”
Overall: Worth owning, reading and lending to any mum (with the page 70 warning) who’s ready and ripe for change.

Mother's Thursday FANTASY...sheer lunacy!

After 17 months at home with her mum, my todder (Amy) has started one day a week at Family Daycare. Finding a daycare spot that's local, available and perfectly suitable is like winning lotto as far as most mothers are concerned. This one came with glowing references and is walking distance from my house - perfect!
So as soon as I could see bub-free Thursdays on my horizon I began to fantastise about my ideal Thursday. It goes something like this:




6am rise for daily morning 'Me-time' Ritual*
10-15 mins yoga, 10-15 mins meditation, 30 min sunrise stroll, followed by a dry body scrub, almond oil naked rub down (self-applied), citrus essential oil shower, finished with cup of jasmine green tea - all before waking the kids.
Relaxing breakfast with kids. Robert makes Lily's school lunch, I pack Amy's daycare bag and off we trot merrily at 8.30am on the dot. Return around 9.15am to start my day...
Work in my office 'till 11.45am then pick up my elderly friend for our weekly luncheon date. (Eat something scrumptions and healthy). Return to my desk by 1.30 for another 4 hours of work before picking up the kids and coming home for an early dinner I've organised the night prior.

March 3 is my third attempt at Fantasy Thursdays. Week one I was flat out sick on the couch. Week two Bob was flat out grumpy with a case of facial shingles. So, here we are week 3 growing ever eager to fulfill my Thursday Fantasy. Here's how it went (my Thursday, March 3 REALITY):

1.30am: Woken at by cockatoo screech of teething toddler who refuses to be consoled in her own cot and insists on lying on the floor (in makeshift bed) slapping mum's face and poking her for over an hour. Give it my absolute best shot to remain cool, calm and collected until - after two hours of wrestling and screaching - I restrain her in a sleeping bag and leave her to screach herself to sleep. I'm on her floor with an earplug in one ear cheering her on, lovingly. (Mothers need medals for nights like this!Or some sort of government funded stress/ sleep debt bonus!!)
We both settle into sleep around 4am for what seems like 5 minutes.
7.30am: Woken by that all-to-familiar cockatoo screach. Desperate for a shower, I hand her over to Bob and Lily. One minute into my shower she's banging on the shower door, balling and calling for muuuuuuuuuuuuum! Shower is short and not so sweet but it'll have to do.
7.45am: Remember we have unexpected houseguests who, without a doubt, lost a couple of hours of sleep last night. Stuff breakfast into kids. Realise we're out of just about everything. Send Bob for a desperate run to the shops. Run to the verandah to add jam to Bob's list. Lean over the railing to get his attention. Already driving out in the car. In desperation, throw 1/2 piece of avocado toast at the car windscreen. Leaves a HUGE smudge but he fails to notice ('till I'm explaining the green smudge when we're back in the car 45 minutes later).
8am: I'm crawling across a landscape of clean, unfolded laundry on my bedroom floor desperatly seeking school socks. Find a second sock and feel momentarily victorious. Hand them to Lily. She informs me they're not matching. My inner dragon wants to scream 'I DONT GIVE A FLYING ....!'. Fortunately my sleep deprived seven second delay has kicked in, so I respond with: 'That's OK darling, just roll them down.'
8.25: Like the Rooster I am (Chinese astrology), I announce our departure in 5 minutes, then realise only two toddler wipes remain. Not even the most resourceful daycare worked could stretch those over an 8 hr day with my daughter's butt! Plan to pick up wipes between drop offs.
8:40am: Say good morning to the emerging houseguests. Load the family into the car. Win the toddler arch back battle squeezing her into the seat. Explain the avocado windscreen smudge. Listen to three people talking at once throughout the trip. Brain begins to melt and all three voices start to merge into one. I answer no questions, just nod. I notice a school boy being tossed into a skip bin by another, with several onlookers, and don't even apply a brake. (7 second delay...)
8.55am: Drop Lil at school gate. So distracted by Bob (and sleepy) I almost run over the lollipop man at the crossing, who (usually) bids me good morning. Wake myself with ice cold car air conditioning.
9am: Drop Bob at the station, pick up some wipes at the supermarket and head to daycare.
9:15am: Arrive at daycare. Amy clutching me like a newborn koala. She eventually relaxes and begind busying herself when I realise her shoes are on the wrong feet (explains the strange walk).
9:30am: Leave daycare swiftly, ignoring cries and wait outside the door to hear hear her settle (only 30 seconds of guilt, thank God).
9:40am: Arrive home to my houseguests. Sit and chat while stuffing my face with my first cup of tea and some breakfast.
10am: Set up houseguests with activities for the day. Put on a load of washing. Look at my list of to-do's...

• Finish business Marketing plan
• Do all 6 loads of washing
• Set up 3-4 work meeting for next week
• Travel 20 mins down the mountain for dental x-ray
• Pick up Jill for lunch
• Organise dinner for houseguests and their visitors

Revise list:

• Forget business Marketing plan...brain asleep
• Wash essentials...clean undies & tomorrow's uniform
• Stay off the phone
• Forget dental x-ray...avoid unneccessary driving (they say driving without sleep is like driving drunk)
• Pick up Jill for lunch
• Pick up sausages, onions and buns for hotdogs (dinner) and suggest guests go OUT to visit after dinner.

11.45am: Head out to pick up Jill for lunch. On the way, fill the car with petrol and myself with 2 Cherry Ripes! Eat one immediately. Spot a truck on the opposite side of the highway, its wheels have come off and are rolling up the road into a service station. A man filling his tank watches nervously. I miss the end but laugh at how fitting the scene is in this somewhat MAD day.
12noon-1.45pm: Lunch with my friend and laugh at the day. Drop her at home and scoff second Cherry Ripe.
2pm: Arrive back home, chat to houseguests briefly and look again at my to-do list.
2.30pm - 4.00pm: I SLEEP a deep, deep sleep and dream a little dream of next week's Thursday ...
4.00pm: Wake, splash water on face. Apply minimal 'healthy look' make-up, drink cup of digestive tea to deal with unhealthy lunch and two Cherry Ripes. Head off to pick up kids...

Be surprised...it's Monday AGAIN!?

Another Monday, another week...same old same old! There's a weekly - even daily - deja vu that comes with motherhood and the routine work it brings. Another wet towel, another uniform to iron, another morning running late, another week ahead...
It's so easy to get completely swamped by the ROUTINE of mothering and managing that it feels like life has no surprises left. On one hand, having some routine can make family functioning a whole lot easier. On the other hand, routine and 'control' can become so consuming and addictive that the surprises go un-noticed, fade into the background of daily living. It can feel like to 'fun police' have raided your life and left nothing but a treadmill to run through the day.
So, how do you bring back some of the fun stuff, the laughs, the spontaneity? You can always schedule a few laughs, just like 'quality time'. Or, you can take a chance and surrender to just one of the hundreds of opportunities that beckon you each day, to take a moment, have some fun.
It might take a while to recognise them, but they are there.
So, this Monday, if you feel like it's just another Monday, try being SURPRISED by anything...

Keep your cool when it's stinkin' hot!

They say it's been the hottest Australia Day in 30 years and I bloody believe 'em! God bless air conditioning...And with the end of school holidays within reach it's so easy to get overheated and lose it with your kids when you're so close to the finish line, especially when you're walking around like the sweaty family (mum sweaty, dad sweaty and a bunch of little sweety sweaties).
No matter how sweet or cute your kids are, when the weather gets hot every question sounds like a whinge and every request just too much to bear. I should know...Only yesterday at around 5.30pm after a day with 4 needy, sweaty girls I was suddenly hit with a bad case of IDGAS. What's IDGAS? It's when you're so damn hot and exhausted that the simplest question or request gets a response like: 'I Don't Give a Shit!' (IDGAS). And as it leaves your mouth you can feel yourself shrink back with self-loathing. (Thinking it is one thing but actually saying it feels entirely different).
Anyway, after a quick yet sincere apology I decided it was time we all chilled out in the local pool. Yes, it was 6pm. Yes, it would mean a late dinner. But hey, we'd be a happier bunch!

So, when we were warned about today's 40+ temp, I decided, no matter how hot and stinky it got, I'd keep my cool. So I put my IDGAS preventation plan in place:

(a) Loads of water - drinking it, swimming in it, putting feet into it!
(b) Hats, shade and air conditioning
(c) Rosewater face spray kept in handbag
(d) So NO to anything that's too hard or too hot

Worked today...tomorrow's a mild 37 degrees but will keep the survival strategy in place...Stay cool!
Lyndal
;0)

SuperMum is SuperDumb...results are in!

The proof is in...a SMH article by Sue White 'Multitasking taken to task', tells us 'neuroscience technologies have led scientists to conclude...while we may be able do one or two simple tasks simultaneously, we aren't wired to multi-task.'

It says multitasking is 'an inefficient way of using the brain' and 'tires out the mind and reduces your ability to be mindful.' Hello! Might be news to the rest of the world but modern mothers - caught in the work/life IMBALANCE have known this for ever. Add to the million and one jobs most mothers try to do in a day the fog of sleep deprivation and you have a melting pot of mindmash!
Just this morning, after a rough, sleepless night with a 7 year old's bad dreams and endless tossing in my bed, I found it difficult just to spread Vegemite on one slice of toast and peanut butter on the other. It wasn't till I sat down to eat with my cuppa that I realised they both landed on the same slice (not a great taste combo!)

The article recommends 'unitasking', doing just one task at a time, for a period of say 30 minutes, suggests using earplugs to avoid distraction. Such a suggestion would make any mothe laugh out loud. Personally, 30 minutes is an absolutely luxury of focus time in my house and only possible when my toddler's asleep and 7 year old's at school.
There's certainly some sense to the findings. I started advocating for greater 'brain balance' for mothers in 2006 when I ran my first Meditation for Mothers workshop. The amount of 'shit shuffling' mothers do in their everyday - washing, cleaning, cooking, working, negotiating, feeding, socialising, nit controlling, forward planning - it's little wonder we've little time and patience to gently nurture and love our children's needs.
I think we've been fed more than a few BIG FAT LIES about what it means to be a mother - to control everything our kids eat and do and wear and say and hear and watch and learn and practice - that we have no time left to enjoy BEING MUM.
If the experts want mothers to start unitasking I'm all for it! I just think they'll be in for a rude shock when they start seeing kids leaving the house in yesterday's clothes with unbrushed hair and unmatched socks.
And the best excuse to give the daycare or school staff when they glare at your new low standard? 'Yes, well I decided to UNITASK this morning.'